Life on Your Terms

Are you living life on YOUR terms or on society’s terms?

If you are living your life on society’s terms, then I would not be surprised to find that right now you are depressed, upset, anxious, and feeling rather rotten.

There are many things happening right now which are horrendous – corporate crime, political games, global economic crises, unemployment and more. That is all on top of the murder, rape, and child abuse that occurs daily.

But you can make the choice to live above all this. Not ignore that it is happening or exists. No, I mean you can choose to rise above it and be successful at work, home and in your relationships and finances.

You can be like Teflon, that material that things do not cling to, no matter what happens. You can be utterly free, utterly complete, utterly happy.

How can you do this? How can you be different from the other struggling under the heavy weight of the world?

It’all in the mind!

King Solomon says, "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he."

James Allen wrote a very famous (and public domain/free) book called *As a Man Thinketh” based on this Hebrew scripture. Read it!

If you have not done it before, begin envisioning the life you desire, not the life you have. If you began and stopped, re-start yourself and get back on track with a focus that is above the muck and mire of what is on the television and radio, in the newspapers and coming from the mouths of those around you.

It’s all in the mind!

Get out those subliminal and hypnosis MP3s, video and audio tapes that can help you change your thinking! Listen to uplifting music. Take a break from the television and radio. Start with one week, the try two weeks, or maybe jump right in and start with a one month break from TV. Go to the bookstore or library and get one or two thick novels and read something that takes your mind away to far-off places.

It’s all in the mind!

Sure, you need to know what happens in the world but guess what? The world will carry on just fine if you take a one week or one month vacation from it and do not pay attention to it.

Use this time to write down the life you desire and then begin small steps to achieving it. Realize the Universe will support you in whatever it is you focus on mentally. If it is a focus on what you do not have, you will get more of nothing, more poverty, more struggle, more pain. If it is a focus on how much love you have, the friends and family you enjoy, the good life you desire, the Universe will give you more of that and doors will begin to open for that to happen.

It’s all in the mind!

Make your present reality. Create life on your terms. Set the agenda and follow the plan. Dream of it. Speak of it. Daydream of it. Sing about it. Write about it.

It’s all in the mind!

This is outrageous living! This is living life on YOUR terms and living it well!

Be well, my friends!

Installing Love

Tech Support: Yes, how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided toinstall Love. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready.What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you locatedyour Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running ?Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudgeand Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invokeForgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have beencompletely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error- Program not run on external components." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up torun on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself beforeyou can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories andempty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give itand its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share itwith others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you.

Tech Support: You're Welcome, Anytime.

- Anonymous

Law of Attraction - It's Wicked!!

We already know that the Law of Attraction (LOA) involves changing from the inside. To do that we need to change how we view things.

"Wicked" by Gregory Maguire is a book and Broadway play that is a truly inspiring example - and a stunning one - of how looking at things from another perspective produces a different reality

It is a retelling of "The Wizard of Oz" now told from the viewpoint of the Wicked Witch of the West. The original is shown through the eyes of Dorothy of Kansas. Now we get to hear the events unfold by Elphaba’s (the witch’s first name) and the perspective is shocking!

In this version, our favorite green Witch isn’t the villain, but rather the heroine. Dorothy is the villiain -- she is the instrusive foreigner who endangers the entire social, econiomic and political milieu of Oz.

In Maguire's tale, it is no wonder Elphaba pulled out all her weapons, including flying monkeys, to chase Dorothy out of her world, and said "I'll let you Dorothy...and your little dog, too!"

After reading this fable or seeing the play, you may find it easy to identify with this unlikely heroine,

If you can change your mind about the Wicked Witch of the West, you can change your perspective about anything or anyone or any situation.

You can begin to view what seems like a desperate, dead-end situation as one of new and unique possibilities! Having no income for five months; no money for food and no food in the cupboards except oatmeal and flour; and having no friends or family to help you financially means you have the opportunity to make some new choices, do some new things and get some new results. You can choose to be depressed, anxious and expect things to get worse. Or you can decide things will change - TODAY.

Keep your attitude in the positive as you search for and implement new ideas. Your attitude will affect how you feel and how you feel is manifested as reality.

What new ways can you earn money, even temporarily? Can you get someone to pay you immediately for work you do? Can you change your pricing structure (if you are self-employed)? Are there some other sources of money and food? Is is time to to investigate a new career path? Can you ask for 30 day extensions? What about asking your boss to allow you to use the resources of the office for the next 60 days to send out applicaitons and resumes/CVs and for a few hours a week to go to interviews so you can change to a better job?

You can do anything and be anything and changing your perspective is a surefire way of starting on that path.

Do you have a successful story about how changing perspective changed your life? Please share it!

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Would you like to improve your life in one or more areas, and have advice and encouragement while you do it? Coaching is the way to get that support, so email me today and get started on your program.

Expat Living: Learn the Language

A year ago you were dreaming of living in your quaint apartment in Paris, working part-time at a bookstore, visiting the Provence countryside on leisurely weekends, walking through the Latin Quarter, enjoying the art in the Louvre and the Picasso Museum, having coffee with new-hound French friends at a sidewalk café and sharing delicious meals at a funky bistro. You would be taking classes and meeting exciting new people.

Now, a year later, you dread waking up and when you do you look around your cramped apartment and sigh. Your neighbors and those you pass on the street irritate and anger you every word they say and you find yourself disgusted by the customs people observe at the market, the café any just about anywhere. The part-time job at the bookstore never materialized as you did not have the grasp of the French language you needed. People are not very outgoing and you find you no longer eat at a café or bistro much because eating along is not enjoyable.

You sleep nearly 10 ours a night and an hour or two when you can during the day. You feel isolated. You feel lost and without identity. You wonder how much longer you can take it, and you avoid outside contact as much as possible.

Culture Shock
You are suffering from culture shock, and your mental health has been affected. You have depression and anxiety. The symptoms of depression expatriates often experience include difficulty concentrating, irritability, increased tiredness, memory problems and significant changes in eating and sleeping patterns such as insomnia or sleeping longer the 8-9 hours a night n addition to naps during the day. The symptoms of anxiety can manifest as an inability to stay focused, a constant vague feeling that something is wrong or feelings of fear that you cannot connect to anything.

This is not uncommon for expatriates. Culture shock is a very serious issue and one’s mental health is at the center of life for an expatriate. Mental health is about who you are but also about knowing who you are. It is about your identity. We create our identity in large part through our relationship with and to our surroundings. When the surroundings are so different or we are unable to adapt to them, we lose our sense of identity. This is a wound, and the Your healing will come from connecting with the culture by learning the language.

For an expatriate, it is vital to know how to engage your environment – to learn the language, to learn te culture and to do simple everyday tasks. You want to be able to do simple things like cook and shop for the supplies you need to do that. You want to be able to set up a household, to find things to do in your leisure time and to make new friends.

This may be difficult or easy, depending on the culture. In some places, like Denmark, natives have a group of friends they have known closely all their lives because they were in the same class all through school. This results in them not being extremely open to making new friends (inviting you to social gatherings or coffee etc). They are socially cordial, but new Danish friend are hard to come by unless you have a Danish boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse. In that case, you inherit their friends, who are open to you because they know the Danish mate or spouse. That’s when you get to experience real Danish hygge (coziness).

Easing the Shock: Learn the Language
Prior to moving to a new country, find out all you can about language classes. If possible, save money fr a private tutor and/or for classes that may cost money (they can be expensive is not). Once you arrive, immerse yourself in language learning.

When I learned French in 14 months, I took 2 3-hours classes per week during the academic year and 5 4-hour classes each week during the summer. I met one hour per day for five days with a tutor, went to a language lab 1 hour a day, watched at least one French movie or French-subtitled movie per day and along with classmates went to see French movie at the local theatre whenever they came out. This was in addition to practicing with my classmates and doing at least 2 hours of homework per night. In short, I embraced the language which helped me embrace the culture.

Either before you leave for your new home, or after you arrive, you can also order language programs for your computer or audiotapes that you can listen to at various times of the day.

The Good, the Bad and the Future
Remember that you will have good days and bad days in your new country. On the “bad days” when you are hit hardest with culture shock and its accompanying depression and/or anxiety, treat yourself gently: Watch DVD/films from home, hang out with other expatriates and go to a club, bar, tavern or other hangout where there are people from your native country.

On the "good days", immerse yourself in some language study. It gets the brain waves flowing and the synapses sparking, which helps to decrease depression. Through the language you will learn more about the culture and the little things you learn while doing it will come to you when you do everyday tasks or when you hear a conversation.

Soon you will be speaking the language, even if badly at first, and enjoying conversations and interactions with natives! You will find it easier to get a job and to make new friends to have coffee with at that sidewalk cafe!

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Are you an expatriate in Denmark? Contact me to start your Expat Coaching program today so you can thrive in your new life in Denmark!